CHAPTER 14

YOUNG ADULTHOOD

(Age 23 through 35 or 40)

PSYCHOSOCIAL DEVELOPMENT

DOES PERSONALITY CHANGE DURING ADULTHOOD, AND IF SO, WHY?

Depending upon the type of research one reviews, there seem to be contradicting views concerning personality and change. However, as a general rule, most research seems to indicate that personality seem to remain rather stable.

The timing of event model suggests that change is related not so much to age as to the expected or unexpected occurrence and timing of important life events.

FRIENDSHIP, LOVE AND SEXUALITY

Most adults have friends but have increasingly limited time to spend with them. Women’s friendships tend to be more intimate than men’s. Why?

Perhaps due to the competitiveness of men

Openness of woman (willing to share their faults)

According to Robert J. Sternberg’s triangular theory of love (1985), love has three aspects: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

INTIMACY……… the emotional element: that involves self disclosure, which leads to connection, warmth, and trust.

PASSION………… the motivational element that is based on inner drives that translate physiological arousal into sexual desire.

COMMITMENT…. the cognitive element, involves the decision to love and to stay with the one you love.

The degree to which each of these three elements is present determines what type love people have. Example

Passion without Commitment

Intimacy without Commitment

STRANGE CULTURAL PRACTICES

(In Tibet, a Man and his Father may have the same Wife)

(In Zaire, a Young Woman may shares husband with her Mother)

NON-MARITAL AND MARITAL LIFESTYLES

Current norms no longer dictate that people must get married, stay married, or have children.

The proportion of U.S. households consisting of married couples with their own children dropped from 40% percent in 1970 to 24% percent in 2000.

Meanwhile, the proportion of households in which one person lives alone increased from 17% percent to 26% percent.

People marry later nowadays, if at all; …. More have children outside of marriage, if at all;….. And more break up their marriages. WHY? (possibly, lack of commitment)

Still an overwhelming 95% percent of men and women have been married at some time before age 65, “indicating that marriage is still very much a part of American life”.

WHEN MARRIAGE ENDS

The United States has one of the highest divorce rates in the world. Nearly 43% percent of all marriages end in separation of divorce.

Some reason why divorce has increased include:

More liberal divorce laws

Fewer couples expect marriage to last (starter Marriages)

People expect too much from marriage (replace orig. family)

Divorce breeds divorce ( parents were divorced, easier for you)

Divorce is not a single act…… it’s a process that involves adjustments after the event.

Even though some people may seem to adjust rather quickly, divorce tends to reduce long term well-being, especially for the partner who did not initiate the divorce or does not remarry.

On average, it takes about three years or more for most individuals to feel comfortable after being unattached.

Approximately 75% percent of women remarry within ten years after a divorce.

Remarriages are more likely than first marriages to end in divorce.

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE REMAIN SINGLE?

Today more adults postpone marriage or never marry. Reasons for staying single include:

Career opportunities

Travel

Sexual and lifestyle freedom

A desire for self fulfillment

Women’s greater self sufficiency

Reduced social pressure to marry

Fear of divorce

Difficulty in finding a suitable mate.

HOW DO HOMOSEXUAL DEAL WITH “COMING OUT” AND WHAT IS THE NATURE OF GAY AND LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS?

For homosexuals, the process of coming out might last well into adulthood, and complete openness about their sexual orientation may nerve be fully achieved. Both gay men and women form enduring sexual and romantic relationships. Homosexuals in the United States are fighting for the same rights married people enjoy.

COHABITATION

Cohabitation has become common and is the norm in many countries (Sweden and Denmark).

Cohabitation can be a “trial marriage” or a way of having an intimate relationship for couples not ready for marriage. Couples who cohabit before marriage tend to have weaker marriages.

The widespread acceptance of cohabitation in the United States is remarkable, considering that until about 1970 it was against the law, and still is in some states.

According to national surveys, most young adults think cohabitation before marriage is a good idea.

Yet, according some to research, couples who live together before marriage tend to have unhappier marriages and as previously mentioned a greater likelihood of divorce if and when they do decide to marry.

PARENTHOOD

Even though the institution of Family is Universal, the “traditional family” (a husband, a wife, and their biological children) is not.

In many African, Asian, and Latin American cultures the extended family household is the tradition.

Family patterns vary across cultures and have changed greatly in western societies. Today women, especially educated ones, are having fewer children and having them later in life.

Research reveals that older mothers are more satisfied with parenthood and spend more time with their babies

Men tend to want children more than women do, but fathers are usually less involved in child rearing than mothers. (Although, fathers today assist much more than fathers of past years)

Research indicates that martial satisfaction typically declines during child rearing years. WHY?

WHY DO SOME COUPLES CHOOSE TO REMAIN CHILDLESS?

An increasing number of couples remain childless by choice. What are some of the reasons the text gives for this occurrence?

A desire to concentrate on a career or an adult lifestyle

To retain greater marital intimacy

Feelings of inadequacy for parenthood

Unwillingness to take on its financial burdens.

WHY HAVE DIVORCE RATES RISEN?

The United States has one of the highest divorce rates in the world. New liberal laws that eliminate the need to find one partner at fault (no fault ruling) make getting a divorce much easier than in previous years. Among the reasons for the rise in divorce are:

Women’s greater financial independence (A woman who is financially independent is less likely to remain in a bad marriage, and women today are more likely than men to initiate a divorce.

Reluctance to expose children to parental conflict (For the sake of the children, many embattled spouses conclude that exposing children to continued parental conflict does greater damage than divorce. (Research indicate that this is not always true).

Greater “expectability” of divorce. (While most people today hope their marriages will endure, fewer expect them to last. Indeed , so expectable has divorce become that some sociologists refer to “starter marriages”.

Most divorcees remarry at some point and time, but remarriages tend to be less stable than first marriages.

In blended families, stepmothers, who are usually more involved in the raising of stepchildren than are stepfathers, tend to have more difficulty being stepparents.

Nevertheless, blended families have the potential to provide a warm, nurturing atmosphere for people who have been bruised by loss in a traditional family.